Raped by Memories (Novel Excerpt)

Raped by Memories  I died so I could become my Mother; not my human mother. Hope this is the last death, the last rape, and the primal wound is sealed with a Beloved’s kiss. I am a sun of the Mother.
As Awareness grew, I understood that human existence is an experiment within the journey of a Prime Creator. There are parts of Prime Creator that do not get along with its other selves. Some parts are in conflict manifesting as shadow entities, as diseases, as demons or even as the possessed or psychopaths in a world that is like an asylum.
In a journey of awareness, the light falls away and is sometimes lost in forms created from its confusion and belief of separation and the fears became Archons, puppet masters who created system to keep the light disassembled.
As a Prime Creator explores it selves…it reaches a “Now” where it will create a convergence point, an event that will gather all its selves into a union.
There are so many selves to know and heal so Prime Creator can continue to evolve. So the inner conflicts, the inner challenges are manifested as dramas in human lives.

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Will I make a new world out of the bodies of my children?
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He trembles for my blackness. He brings a visual dismemberment. This cultural scavenger wants to colonize, enslave and keep me primitive in his embrace as he impregnates with his fears and superstitions because he cannot walk through the sea of images and not be masked as the Other. He needs to displace my authenticity so he can enslave consciousness. I will not be his feeding ground or an Earth to desecrate. I will come with my Father’s face; and there shall be no peace in this land of the dead. I will breach the boundaries.
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“We are gathered here today to talk about the love of a man. There are some of you out there who will love anything with three legs and some of us will try and cripple two of them. We all run from the snake but we keep walking in the tall grass just knowing he’s a bite away. Can I get a witness?
Yessir, a man will lay you till he’s bone dry, tell you he loves you and already be crawling into another hole with him still on your lips. He’s a dog and we know how a dog likes to bark. And he will chase anything that smells like it got a hole. He doesn’t care where he puts it anymore. Can I get witness!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying to yourself, how can one as fine as me know about love. Sisters, loving a man will make you sit up longs hour, count the seconds on the clock, wonder where his hands are feeling up tonight. I know about the last drink hoping to wash the taste of him off your lips. How many dildos have you compared to the man you love to see if they reached the bottom of your ocean? I’ve had a lot of men diving in the swimming hole but they all drowned before they reached the bottom. Can I get witness?
Men, where are they? We look long and hard for a man. Can’t find them in the yellow pages, stores don’t keep ‘em in stock, and I don’t like to plug in anything with batteries. And when you find one, everybody wants some till your supply runs out.
I don’t want a man. I don’t want that long-legged wonder that wraps me tight till I drown in his sweat. When it gets real good, a chill runs up and down your body like children at play. That man I come home to every night, spreads me wide, climbs inside, and I say, “Drive me home James, and don’t spare the gas.”
I’ve raised a man to heights he’s never been and swore he was on the wings of a dove. I’ve launched many men from my hips.
I’ve dried his tears and become the sun he rose to. I’ve been the valley he came to rest in, the mountain he scaled when he felt a challenge.
I’ve been the night that covered him and made him whole. A little more, just a little more and I know he’ll take me.
Take me home!
Can I get a witness!
Somewhere out there somebody knows about the love of a man!
Tell me my sisters and brothers, didn’t he turn your head last night as those sighs raced across your pillow and your hands pulled the stars from the sky and massaged his back.
Didn’t you melt across satin seas until the salt of your love laid upon the shore of an island you two had formed?
Can I get a witness?
I need a witness.
Tell me there is a witness about the love of a man.
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When this monologue performance ends, so does this world.

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