"I can't be an alien in a human disguise," Michael mumbled to himself. His throat was dry so he tried to swallow mucus just to wet his throat. His eyes were heavy. His left leg ached as if he was dragging a dead tree branch.

A disembodied voice said, "You don't have to be alone." The voice had the effect of being choral.

Michael was sitting on the steps of a Baptist church. It was 3:30 a.m. He remembered when the Reverend would call for new converts, "The doors of the church are open." Now, the doors of the church were closed forever to him. He witnessed the truth through the vision and the one's who controlled world religions wanted to destroy him before he revealed their true origins. The God of his mother no longer protected him but sent his associates to destroy his mind, hollow him out and then use him as a vessel to become Legion.

He had been walking all night through the streets of New York. The air was cold and felt like the breath of the demon that sat over the city. This was one of those revelations that always gave him a chill; to know that buildings, cities, towns, places of power had thoughtforms that had become self-aware were sitting over the structures feeding off the emotional energies of the people. To bring light to these structures to dissipate the influences of these Egregores, these thoughtforms could manifest as natural disasters, mental illness, and other manifestations as these astral worms sought manifestation and survival.

His feet were swollen, he hadn't eaten for two days, slept maybe three hours in Central Park in some bushes, and that homeless look was adapting itself to him. No matter where he went, he was being tormented by demons, the Archons, his ex-vampire lover or restless ghost seeking some of his light so they could go home.

"I'm tired, I just want to sleep," Michael replied.

"There are other worlds where someone would welcome you. We will prepare a body for you. Come join us," spoke the voice as if it was singing the words.

The thought was monstrous. It was intriguing though it seemed like walking into another death. Being placed in another body didn't seem like a feasible solution. Besides, the body was probably just another construct of Demiurge.

 

Mental Monologue. "Where was my chance to get picked up by the big bright light? When would God's hand reached down and pick up this wanderer? Where was that celestial breast that would nourish me? What God would wipe my tears?

Being placed in another body gave me the image of a child raging through the house while thunder was echoing in the distance and fear amplified every disembodied voice that was waiting to satisfy its thirst on the innocent essence of a young child so it could manifest a form.

Being placed into another body seemed like being buried alive again. What had this world offered me? Let's see, I have received scorn, ridicule, physical abuse, emotional imprisonment so it was not like I was stepping out of a great place. I wanted warmth of an embrace, the kind words to soothe my aching heart; the love that I only read about from someone else's perspective or flashed on a movie screen that had limited allotted time to keep the actions flowing.

The anonymous voice promised it would take care of me. It would shelter me from the wrath of humans. I was one of these humans before it was revealed I am an alien in a human disguise sent to this reality with other light bearers to anchor a new frequency so human consciousness can move back to the forefront of creation; yet, I am not sure if I am sane or insane – there would be no Twinkie defense for this divine madness.

Yet, it was the human part that struggle to stay human, was it out of spite to the voices, or was it revenge or a hidden agenda. Then again, was it fear coating all possibilities that I am not human? How human must I be now to stay human knowing the things I have learned and could possible learn?

My body is weak. The psychic attacks have taken their toll on my mind, my body, my spirit. I have separated myself into other beings in order to survive. Maybe this is the reason I am dying. Maybe it is the reason this anonymous voice promises me another body. I will not be a victim of another dragon's song I screamed inside.

What parts of me will they take, what will be left to rot in this corpse? I had images of me lying in a decaying body being feasted on by worms while alive in a coffin without a savior to rescue; it was not appealing. The Voice was so gentle, like a gentle nudging from a breeze. But here I was stretched out on the steps of church; midnight madness clouded the sky and this particular street is empty.

"You can live forever. Let us prepare a new body for you."

I shudder at the thought. All the bad mummy movies came to mind. I will not cast myself in a bad horror movie for someone's amusement. This is my life. It's real. A bit mad, yes, but it's mine. And even at this juncture I wasn't about to relinquish myself to this Voice. But I was tired. I was tired of the physical prison. The mental restrictions that society, culture and gender had placed on me were suffocating. What weakness was in me that summoned such a Voice and this proposition?

How many deaths have I tasted to know the Life and still death has raped me like an immortal whore? Seems when I cannot breathe the air allotted me, than death becomes my ticket to another adventure or so I believed. I haven't had physical proof only theories from books about reincarnation. Eventually dreams started and I thought what if it is true, we are immortal and we just move into another body? So, what if I did it consciously?

From another moment of my life, another voice had pierced my mental shields and said, "Come to me, you will live in me forever."

My screams were dry. My thoughts parched. I was not going to descend into the netherworlds and become a consort to this Vampire God. Came so close once but I was able to thwart his advances, his attacks, his warping words of love that had the effect of a siren song. He and the other Archons orchestrated my weakness almost into his ultimate orgasm but I recovered enough of my senses to free myself. And yet, did I learn my lesson? Maybe the lesson is repeating itself in another form until I get it right, something to consider but for now, I'm lying on the steps of a church, dying again and I don't see any way out. Me, being one of death's biggest supplier, is about to meet my business partner.

"Let go, and we will take you from that body into a new body. In our world, you will be a queen again."

I had to laugh to myself; I've been known to be a queen in this world. Many barstools had become my throne. "No," I said to the Voice. "The Life is still in me. I will not die for you. This body is off limits and so am I."

 

The night became silent. The street was empty. Michael lay on the church steps, moaning to himself, "I'm not a child of this house". Where can I go to die in peace he mumbled?"

 

I go to the Father through the Christ and in his name, I take my problems.

I go to the Father through the Christ and in his name; I call upon the Christ for Love and Protection.

I go to the Father through the Christ and in his name; I call upon the Christ for Love and Salvation.

I go to the Father through the Christ and in his name; I create a circle of light. Those things that are not part of the Christ consciousness, in his name I now dispel.

 

The tea was growing cold in his hand. Michael could feel a throbbing in his head in the area of the third eye. He wanted to push down the memories. I'm not ready for this again he thought. I don't want to remember how foolish I was, the madness that consumed me, and how dark I choose to become to know the light.

The dark night of the soul almost took my mind. So many dark gods wanted me as their consort, so many people lost their souls and my spell backfired so the astral plane is still falling and I can't mend the rupture. The worst still is the Dark Gods are returning. The Ancient Ones are waking up. And I worried that I am choosing Death over Life."

"You aren't," said a male Voice.

"Who are you?"

"One who travels with you that you cannot see consciously until your mind is ready to perceive," replied the Voice.

"More mind games? You've already stretched my consciousness like taffy."

"You got what you could handle. You're here."

"Am I really? I look in the mirror and I don't recognize that person. It's like so many beings are looking through me. I don't want to start crying. Lord knows I cried for almost forty days."

"Becoming a mortal god is very difficult."

"I just wanted to be a singer, have a cute boyfriend, make some money and make my family proud. I didn't ask to become a new mythology."

"You are Creation; many spirits and demons have played games with your mind to influence you. Even as we speak, you are at war within. Heaven is battling for its salvation and ascension. The war in Heaven will not be in flesh but spirit."

"I didn't ask to look inside myself. I don't want to look inside. I don't want to know. I'm out of the God business. I'm just going to be normal now. Have a life. Get a husband. This dark night of the soul crap has played its last stage performance in my mind."

"There is a unity of darkness gathering from the Earth plane as you are falling into a time of remembrance; and therefore, you will be attacked on many levels because the remembrance will take you to that vibration. You were not afraid of the power you were using in New York. Don't be afraid now. The key is God continuously evolve. The only limit is man's consciousness and perception. Becoming a mortal god is the only way you will ascend. You must also be aware that there are others like you who will awake, some will make it, others will not. The dream of twelve in a room when the earthquake comes is a revelation that when the Earth begins her physical ascension, it will be the time for the physical transition of many to higher bodies of light. You have activated the sixty-four light code keys in this life and are implanting light into your multi-dimensional selves so that they are on this journey with you through light and darkness. All of your selves are experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul. Some will go to other Earths to continue their karma."

"This is way too much information. I didn't ask for all of this, okay. And I'm tired of you guys playing up my fears. I think ignorance is bliss! I didn't like my greatest fear – loneliness – being tossed in my face," Michael said swallowing some tears and chasing them down with some cold tea.

It was noon, the sun was high. As he looked out the window from his flat on Golden Gate Avenue in San Francisco, he watched people walking by as if nothing out the ordinary was happening. Traffic was loud and congested. In all appearances, it seemed a normal day; yet, he could sometimes witness the other dimensions sharing the same space just a different vibration. Sometimes they noticed him. But no one realizes the layers of reality that comprises this one.

His hands were shaking. The stress of the Dark Night of the Soul during his time in New York had taken a toll on his body. He had lost weight; he was now a hundred twenty pounds from one hundred fifty pounds; his complexion was stained from a light bulb he kept burning by his bed without a proper light shade during those spiritual trials. He feared the dark, so there was always a light burning. His hair was getting longer; he had relaxed it with chemicals and now it was straighter and almost down to his shoulders, and sometimes the hair reminded him of hissing snakes when he would stare at himself in the mirror. He was considered by most to have average looks, he was average height, and in a room of strangers he would be invisible. His lips were thick, dry and cracking. His voice sometimes wavered from strength to a whisper. His brown eyes were blacker than brown these days, and sometimes people thought they saw stars twinkling in his eyes. He walked slower, sometimes as if he was shuffling as he if was being weighed down by an unseen force. His demeanor was like that of a man beaten down.

"People are not ready for this sort of revelation. But the quickening could cause them madness which would send them to another reality and not be able to ascend to the higher vibration. Why me Father, why me? I'm not exactly the cat's meow in this world? Nor am I in the mood to become a broadcast center for alien frequencies."

"You have felt abandoned through many incarnations and have fallen because of your denials. Acceptance is within. Look to the Heart for healing. You are on a spiritual journey. You are an alien being having a human experience."